Has someone said this to you? Something similar? Something mean even? I'm here to tell you I've heard it all, and while it hindered my confidence initially, statements like these ended up being part of the driving force behind my success! Statements like these can hold you back from achieving your dreams. Don't listen to them. This post is completely geared towards inspiring others and giving you some helpful tips in dealing with people in your life that are like this-even if the person saying these things happens to be you now!
Don't let your confidence hold you back!
I first heard the title statement in 2012. My hairdresser asked me what I was going to do after being laid off from my job 2 weeks before. I was shocked that someone would say such a thing to me, especially since she knew my leadership background, etc but she's very outspoken and I still love her for it! Time continued on, and months later my family was asking me when I was going to get a "real" job. To be frank, no I wasn't pulling any substantial amount of money in or even a living wage from my photography, but it wasn't due to anything but AN INABILITY TO CONFIDENTLY MARKET MYSELF! My husband and I were broke, and things weren't looking up, but I prayed about it, I worked on my skills every week, I researched, I watched videos, I did shoots with my kids-heck I shot toys, anything I could get my hands on to get real practice for things I would need in the future. I set up lighting scenarios, I shot all hours of the day and night just to get every single bit of experience I could. BUT I DIDN'T MARKET MYSELF. I was too scared to come out of my shell and book people. A year went by and still nothing, but you can't expect something out of nothing. Winston Churchill said, "I never worry about action but only about inaction." I was taking action, but my confidence held me back from taking the 1 step I needed to succeed. And if you're wondering how much I ended up investing in marketing initially-$200. Yep, that's it. I had $200 left on a small credit card. If you know me, then you know that I've owned 1 credit card that I got in my mid 20's, and I never really used it. I always believe you pay as you go. If you can't afford it outright, besides a house and a car, don't do it. I only had the credit card because my house loan officer said I needed to build credit. Anyway, that was a necessary tangent, because I needed to explain that I don't frivolously spend money. $200 that's*maybe a payoff-not my cup of tea! Anyway, I booked a $600 wedding from that, and put all $600 back into marketing, and I've never looked back!
"I never worry about action
but only about inaction." Winston Churchill
Think about the rest of your life. Not retirement, but the time you have before you get there!
I am generally a happy person. I've had a few jobs where there were miserable people, no stability, hard labor, etc, but I have always tried to be content, move up, and stay positive. However, working in retail and working in a grocery store was not my VISION for the rest of my life in high school or college. Even while working those jobs I would think, "One day...one day I'll do something I really love," or "One day I'll be able to follow my dreams," or "One day I'll do something meaningful." While impacting other people's lives is meaningful no matter what job you have, I've always been the type to NEED to do something that I felt was meaningful besides just interacting with people. When I became a Christian in 2011 I realized why I felt that need. It's because God gave me a talent that I wasn't utilizing. (I will go more into depth on this subject later.)
I'm not at all saying that you should feel entitled or that you deserve a better job or higher pay or anything like that. That type of mentality is actually very negative and can affect you and the others around you greatly. But I AM saying that while you can dream for a better way to survive, you can also be thankful for where you are right now, AND be working on steps to get you to your dream job.
Consider your example to your posterity.
I've told my children since they were young that they could do anything they wanted, be anything they wanted, but I NEVER showed them that. When my 2 oldest were growing up, I missed most milestones, and I was always at work. I was in management for most of my career, so I was always on call whether I was physically at work or not. I actually feel guilty for NOT following my dreams sooner! Not only did I miss out on them, I also wasn't being the example I should be as a mother.
I was always told growing up that artists don't make money, that I would have to move to NY to make money, and even when I got older that I needed to find a "real" job. These types of statements are very damaging and completely untrue. When you've grown up with that mentality though, it's VERY difficult to break it. You are confined within your own reality, but not actual reality. If it seems unattainable to you, then IT WILL BE! You'll never get there. You've got to break out of your old ways of thinking not just for yourself, but for your kids. They will most likely not be able to live up to their potential if they don't have any tangible examples of it in their own families.
"Follow your dreams-Your children are watching you!"-Jennifer Brecheisen
Do it for God.
God has given all of us unique gifts and talents. We shouldn't waste those. He's given them to us to bring glory to Him, to impact other people, the be blessings to others, and they are blessings to us as well! God has made us stewards of our children, our money-they ALL belong to him. He's also given us stewardship over the gifts he's bestowed upon us. Use those gifts! Use them to bring Him glory! Pray about what He wants you to do, how he wants you to go about it, pray about every single step in the process, and don't worry-Trust in Him and have faith.
Fill your life with positive influences.
1.) Let go of negative people in your life. I'm not saying to just leave them hanging, but be assertive. Explain to them that you want to start being more positive or that their negative attitude is bringing you down. If you HAVE to take a break from someone, explain to them why you're doing it. Eventually, once you're strong within yourself, those people can be let back in. They won't influence you anymore. When you cut ties with all negativity, you will have a certain clarity you haven't had before. If you really isolate yourself from it with the intentions of using the isolation for good later, nothing bad can really come of it. The negative nancies won't be able to bring you down anymore.
2.) Fill your life with positive people, quotes, things that make you smile. Change your surroundings and "fluff" them a bit. Be aware of your own thoughts! This is extremely important. Once you have awareness, you can slowly begin to change how you think about yourself and the world. (Side Note: Many psychiatrists recommend anti-depressants for 6 months to whenever. The reason they don't recommend them indefinitely is because once your brain starts receiving it consistently, you brain actually begins to change. It begins to repair and heal itself. The more positive you are, the faster the repair process can be.) This is the same principle in non-depressed people- just a negativity problem. You have been given the tools necessary to change the way you think. Awareness, environment changes, people changes, tiny steps-You'll get there!
3.) Bring those negative people back in, and be a blessing to them. Don't try to change them-it won't work. But your example can make them think twice and eventually reveal within themselves their own insecurities and negativities.
Filling your life with positive influences and changing the way you think will help you be successful NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITHIN YOUR LIFE. Positive thinking is the starting point for your dreams.
Forget a "REAL" job!
Once you're confident, you've worked your butt off, you know what you're doing, and you're financially able- FORGET A REAL JOB AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
The idea of working for someone else seriously scares me now. If i'm in retail-I don't choose my hours, or let's say they say you can. Eventually you're hired on and you find out it's a lie. A real job can fire you in a heartbeat even if you've done nothing wrong. In a real job-you don't decide when you get to move up or how much you get paid. In a real job you end up having to "look the other way" sometimes just to keep your job, or go against your own morals. I'm sick to my stomach thinking about all the things that went on at my last job, and no matter how much I reached out to HR nothing helped-in fact, it was to my detriment.
I sincerely hope this post has inspired you or helped you in some way. We all need to hear that we are worth it, that our dreams are achievable, that life has something more to offer. If you feel like you aren't where you are supposed to be, please reach out to me, and I'll put you on my prayer list or I can give you some little tips to get you going in the right direction. Thank you for reading!
Jennifer Brecheisen
Fine Art Wedding Photographer | Chester SC
jenniferbrecheisen.com@gmail.com
803.524.5245
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